i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
