Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
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I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
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He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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