Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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