this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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