So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
there was a trapeze. enough said
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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