we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
