Well douche your snatch and let's go!
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
