Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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