I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
