actually, I'm a sock model
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
