I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My vagina is very pro this idea
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
