If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
