U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
do nipples grow back?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
