just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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