Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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