Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
