Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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