new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
