belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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