Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
