Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
