where am i from again
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize