what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
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