When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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