There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
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Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
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So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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