that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
