I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
