my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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