He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
