Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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