He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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