I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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