dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize