which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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