I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
