How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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