is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
