Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
