Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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