So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
