So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
