my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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