benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
