I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
