New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
