i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
