i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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