Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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