You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
