Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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