There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
