birth control should be required to get into college
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize