Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
