they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize