I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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