marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
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my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
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Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
God, I missed his penis.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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