my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize