Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
