We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize