you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
