at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
