is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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