Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
